Final Winter Flow

--
YES I am stingy with fear, even
out of line
begrudging stimulant prod & prescription
placebo-love rations
that fuel fiery breath to mark a page with runes
at every double-edged purr

I end where I begin: a blurry dream
of the decisive step
on a forest track of saplings, bent & snapping
unbroken to wear our secret out

so I remind myself you never loved me
as every day I need
to remind myself: you never loved me

AND yet & still
five score & a couple more long years on
the timeful scrape of your skin
traces enduring outlines of yearning lack
in the clotted pour of my desire
--

Trouble Dream

--
Trouble is where you find it
trouble is what you make
trouble is what you never never
never can leave behind

It ain't me, boss-
it ain't my threat you dream about

My line of pain walks mute & dark
on a tightrope mind gone slack

How long can I hold on?
How far can I still hold?
How shall I hold off center?

(If I swing while I hang this low
when will I breathe my last?)

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