Final Winter Flow

YES I am stingy with fear, even
out of line
begrudging stimulant prod & prescription
placebo-love rations
that fuel fiery breath to mark a page with runes
at every double-edged purr

I end where I begin: a blurry dream
of the decisive step
on a forest track of saplings, bent & snapping
unbroken to wear our secret out

so I remind myself you never loved me
as every day I need
to remind myself: you never loved me

AND yet & still
five score & a couple more long years on
the timeful scrape of your skin
traces enduring outlines of yearning lack
in the clotted pour of my desire


Trouble Dream

Trouble is where you find it
trouble is what you make
trouble is what you never never
never can leave behind

It ain't me, boss-
it ain't my threat you dream about

My line of pain walks mute & dark
on a tightrope mind gone slack

How long can I hold on?
How far can I still hold?
How shall I hold off center?

(If I swing while I hang this low
when will I breathe my last?)